How to be the "WINNER" in Your Divorce

On the other side of divorce, especially when kids are involved, lies this field of opportunity. Opportunity of comparison. Who is the better parent? Who took the kids on a nicer trip? Who has the nicer home? Who got into a relationship faster? Is My boyfriend cuter than my ex? He sure is more talented or makes more money or …

And it doesn’t have to just be on the material or relationship level - get creative! Complete as a parent - go for the gold! I go to more of the kids activities!. My kids friends like me better. I’m the better school parent .

It is endless and ,

SPOILER ALERT #1,

In this game - THERE ARE NO WINNDERS

How can that be? My kids friends say I’m the coolest and they want to come over to my house. Europe is clearly a far superior trip than Kansas City (nothing against the City of Fountains, but we’re talking the South of France, here).

Why are there no winners - even when it’s clear something is “better” than something else?

Because you fell into the trap, the illusion, the GREAT DISTRACTION and overall destroyer of true happiness.

Ask yourself - “Does this thing, this perceived accomplishment, this accolade resonate through my being and does it bring joy to this exact moment - OR - does it distract me? Am I so focused on comparison and winning that I miss the joy in this moment and others?

I’m not saying you won’t have an amazing time with your kids in the South of France - (and please take me when you go).. What I am suggesting is if your focus is on winning and comparison - then your focus is clearly not on your kids, not on your trip, and not on life. Not only are you loosing out but think of the example you are setting for your kids! You are teaching them that competing against another human - creating a “winner” and then a “loser” (in this case their father) is a recipe for success. However - feel that empty void - along with that hunger to find the next way to win, and the next?

SPOILER ALERT #2

You don’t get that when you are truly feeling happiness and joy in the moment.